


Pull the Trigger Warning

by AndeliaMaddock



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Blood Kink, Bloodplay, Body Horror, M/M, Multi, NSFW, Other, Violence, Violent Sex, friend fantasizing, holy shit the ending makes me hot as fuck, noncon dubious consent, voyuerism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 08:50:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndeliaMaddock/pseuds/AndeliaMaddock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It wasn't even like he liked Kurloz. The guy was a fucking creep. Gross. And that face paint was just disgusting. Who would even want to kiss Kurloz?</p><p>Before today, Cronus would say not him. Not even him. And he was well aware of his status as guy most likely to hit on something that doesn't even move, much less the things that move. But come on, Kurloz?</p><p>Well... now that he had the image of Kurloz on top of him, holding him down with relative ease (the strength that would require, fuck, it wasn't like he was weak or anything) he was definitely looking for more."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Trigger warning for blackrom, violence, bloodplay, submission and dominance, troll calliginous romance, plot perhaps plot, buckets, fearplay, humiliation play, and use of vulgar language. Proceed ahead with caution. Pairing, Cronus/Kurloz and a surprise guest.   
Pull the Trigger Warning

 

He pushed his comb through thick black hair and checked his reflection in the mirror. Turned to the side, but facing the reflection, he was slim, but toned, with a smile to die for. Billions of sweeps, but he hadn't let himself go in the least. If only others would get with him, they'd find out just how good he was. Cronus grinned, and the cigarette in his mouth bobbed a bit, though remained between his thin lips with practiced ease. 

Once more, he turned to face the mirror fully. His broad shoulders pulled nicely at the stretched white tee he wore. He winked, and pointed at himself, then returned the comb to his pocket and swaggered out of his respite block's ablutions chamber.

His hands burrowed into his pockets and he kept on down the block, until he was in a nearby dream bubble. Too long alone left him itchy for contact. Something. Conversation. Anything. Good god, he just wanted to not be so bored.

His white eyes spied a form near a tree, causing their shadow to tear from the base of the tree. He squinted, but couldn't quite see who it was. They were tall, but dark. 

Cronus kept on, until he caught sight of the other. Long, unkempt black hair. Lips, with unspeakable horrors keeping them sewn shut.

The swallow hurt, a bit. He stepped back, offered a hesitant smile in case Kurloz had seen him, and turned about on heel.

Within an instant, there was a hand on Cronus' shoulder, stroking down his back and making the greaser shiver with fear. 

Cronus peeled his hands out of his tight pockets and raised them into a sign of submission, palm out, face forward. He could feel the sweat dribble down his forehead and burn at his eyes. “Hey, pal. You vwanna talk or – uh, I mean. You knowv vwhat I mean, right?” 

The hand slipped down his back, and right at the middle of the back, it shoved forward with more force than Cronus would ever expect from the skinny teen behind him.

He rolled onto his back and began to scoot back in the dirt, “Hey, listen, vwhatevwer you think I did, I probably didn't do it. So, vwhat say you just--” Hands held at his collar and pulled him up.

Sewn lips curled and strained at the string. Black and white face paint exaggerated every movement of Kurloz's gaunt face, and left him all the more terrifying.

Cronus shut his eyes. “Hey, pal... Let's not, ok?” He could feel breath, strained and hot, right on his face. Kurloz was so near, he could smell it. Death and grease paint. Cronus swallowed. He cracked his eyelids open and glanced up at Kurloz. “Vwhat do you vwant?”

That scowl shifted into a deadly smirk. One hand held Cronus tight, the other slid down his shirt, ghosting touches along sensitive skin. He said nothing.

Cronus shivered. “Vwhat? Vwhy don't you just... let me go, ok? Vwe don't havwe to fight.” Though, he struggled less. Was it really a fight anymore?

Kurloz's smirk only tightened. Those fingers kept on roaming, in idle though no doubt preplanned routes along Cronus' chest. He said nothing.

The touches were getting to him. Cronus shifted underneath Kurloz and tried to position himself better. “Is this, like, flirting? You flirting vwith me, pal?”

He heard the shirt rip, and heard the impact of fist to face, before he felt either. Cronus fell back, and his elbows dug into grass, and he felt blood. Blood on face, blood on elbows. And blood rushing in his bulge. He growled, bared his teeth, and let the anger at the sucker punch and ripped shirt fuel him. He lunged.

Kurloz's claws dug into Cronus' shoulders and slammed him back into the dirt. A sneer stretched across those long lips and dark eyebrows pulled in tight in a scowl. He ground against Cronus and held the other troll down. 

Each time Cronus tried to fight, Kurloz clawed deeper, or moved his hands and caught at another spot. It wasn't very long at all before Cronus was pinned, with wrists held by one large hand, and chin held with the other.

Kurloz leaned in and pressed his lips to Cronus'.

Cronus had no idea what brought it on, but his body responded with eagerness. He ground up and slipped his tongue out, trying to feel at the strings, the lips, feel the body that was on top of him. He needed something.

Kurloz removed his large hand from Cronus' chin and ran it down to Cronus' pants. Fingers deftly worked open the zipper, and soon enough the bulge was out.

to be continued  
K

 

Cronus grit his teeth in frustration, hand down his jeans working his bulge, while the other gripped the story tight in claws. “No. No, no fucking vway. You don't just end it right there!”

It wasn't even like he liked Kurloz. The guy was a fucking creep. Gross. And that face paint was just disgusting. Who would even want to kiss Kurloz?

Before today, Cronus would say not him. Not even him. And he was well aware of his status as guy most likely to hit on something that doesn't even move, much less the things that move. But come on, Kurloz?

Well... now that he had the image of Kurloz on top of him, holding him down with relative ease (the strength that would require, fuck, it wasn't like he was weak or anything) he was definitely looking for more.

And Kurloz started with K.

Kurloz was in the story.

Kurloz fucking wrote a fanfic about them about to have hate sex, and left it right by Cronus' house. The sick twisted bastard probably only did it to humiliate him. Cronus, having never considered fucking the mime (mostly) would go there, all hot and bothered, and Kurloz would reject him. Or worse. He wouldn't. 

Cronus packed his bulge away and tossed the story into the trash.

A minute later, he pulled the story back out and read it over again. Just to make sure. Just to... well. He didn't have to justify why he wanted to read well put together stories. He wasn't doing it because he wanted Kurloz. But a guy like him took what relief he could get. And if relief came at his hands while he read a dirty fic someone obviously put a lot of time into, well, so be it.

Cronus pulled the slightly violet story from the trash a few hours later and helped himself to another adventure into the world of high class erotic literature.

A day later he pulled the sodden violet stained piece from the waste bin one more time and put it into his jacket.

Fuck this. He'd go to the source and get satisfaction. Or, he'd take it as a black come on, even if Kurloz rejected him, and persist until he got something from the sick fucking clown who left dirty traps by his house.

Half an hour later, he'd wandered into Kurloz' personal bubble. The imposing hive stood before him, right on the shore line. It was stormy here. Oh, of course it was. Kurloz was probably in a fantastic mood and in no way would turn him down just to be a piece of work.

Cronus scowled. He started up the stony walkway and onto the rickety porch. Guy could change reality in the dream bubble to make things look however he wanted, and guy made it look like a horror house. What a perfectly acceptable thing to do, it wasn't like it would scare away any potentially black amorous visitors or anything. Cronus rolled his eyes, though the effect was lost to all but him, given his pure white eyes. “Givwe me a break.”

He felt the wooden boards under him shudder and heard them groan under his weight. He sighed and pulled one hand from his pocket and rapped at the door.

A hand touched his shoulder.

Cronus spun around, eyes wide, lips open in a shocked shout, and he backed into the door. “K-kurloz!” He felt his chest, but realized he didn't feel anything because he was dead for many sweeps, not because he'd been so scared his blood pusher had stopped. “Vwould say you scared me half to death, but that vwouldn't be too funny, considering...”

Kurloz managed a slight smile. He tilted his head and stepped closer.

The gap between them was mere inches now, and the taller troll towered over him. Yeah. Cronus was both insanely turned on by something he never much liked before, and insanely scared. Odd how that worked.

Kurloz shifted from foot to foot, and his brows furrowed in a simple question. Why are you here?

Cronus shifted with almost mirrored movements, though his hands remained in his pockets, while Kurloz's were on the door, locking him into place. “Vwell, vwas in the neighborhood--”

Kurloz arched a brow, and his lips curled into a simple refusal. Don't lie to me.

Cronus cleared his throat and continued with a slightly higher tone, “Looking for you, and I found you, and nowv here vwe are--”

Still not buying it. Kurloz made a displeased noise. A sort of guttural growl.

“Because of your story.”

The growl tapered. Back to square one. Quizzical look.

Cronus snorted and pushed him away. Well, tried.

Kurloz held fast, and those questioning eyes and eyebrows lowered into a look of irritation.

“Come on, like you didn't knowv. You obvwiously vwrote this trash, and I-- vwell, I vwanted to tell you that it's filthy disgusting slop. And you're not fit to be my blackmate.” Yeah, fan those flames. Piss him off more. He was doing perfect. Blackrom, here he came.

Those eyes were pretty slitted, and that breath was cold on his throat.

Cold on his throat. Not hot. Not warm. Cold. Cronus blinked. “You didn't vwrite it, did you?”

Kurloz shook his head, then snatched the papers from Cronus' jacket. He took several quick steps back.

Cronus lunged and reached for the papers. 

Kurloz pushed at him, back into the door, while he held the papers up in his other hand. 

“Don't read those! Come on, I didn't... I thought you vwrote it, you can't blame me for that!” He panted now, trying to get the papers, and honestly panicking. “Look, I'll just go, ok? I knowv you didn't vwrite it. You're not the type to lie, and besides. You vwouldn't mistake us for havwing hot breath.” Because highbloods knew their own fucking temperature.

Cronus knew there was a problem in the writing.

Someone low in the hemospectrum had written this.

Kurloz held him, but Cronus didn't fight much. His mind processed things. Too slow, now he felt like a fucking idiot. K. Not for Kurloz. For Kankri. Kankri had been hanging out at his house, and had a bundle of notebooks and things with him. Cronus had seen the troll under the tree.

How had he not put it together? How the fuck had Cronus Ampora, brilliant strategist and excellent detective in this sort of thing, messed up so fantastically?

Kurloz dropped the filthy pages and stepped back against Cronus. Hands softened their touch, and the scowl had turned to a smirk. There seemed to be a milky glaze over the whiteness of his eyes.

Oh.

Cronus shifted from ball of foot to heel, and back. He rolled his feet a bit, shifting his weight from side to side. “Uh. Finished reading pretty quick. Vwowv, you really read fast. Heh, guess if you can't talk, should be able to do other things.” Well, that was a shit thing to say. He gulped. 

Cronus pressed against Kurloz's chest with open palms. “Let's just agree not to talk about this.” He just couldn't shut his mouth, could he? Sweat began to drip, accurate to the stupid story that had gotten him caught up in this monumental misunderstanding. “I mean, you knowv vwhat I mean, slip of the tongue.” He started to move under Kurloz's arms, “It's a figure of speech.” Someone kill him.

No wait, no, don't do that. He did not want to double die, even if he sort of wanted to regain some semblance of intelligence.

The laugh sounded twisted, a short rough thing that ground out between permanently sewn lips. It sounded as though he hadn't done it in a long time. Probably, Kurloz hadn't.

Arms lowered, and the laugh tapered, but left behind a soft residual smile. Kurloz leaned in, and the tips of his horns scraped against the thick wooden door, and boxed Cronus in on all ends.

Well, fuck. This was either the start to a really bad (or great) porno, or Kurloz was super interested in being a freak and smiling while he tortured Cronus.

And Cronus, true to Ampora form, was entirely unsure what to do. He was ninety percent sure Kurloz was using weak chucklevoodoo on him. Or, so he would claim if he got out of this and anyone found out about it.

For his menacing role in all this, Kurloz was just standing there, pressed up against Cronus. Those hands that held him in an invisible and tight box moved to Cronus' hips and held onto them.

Ok. This was not terrible. This was terrifying, yes, but he was definitely back to feeling turned on.

Cronus shifted forward, until his chest pressed against Kurloz's and his own horns just barely rubbed along Kurloz's.

Kurloz opened the door, and roughly pushed Cronus inside. He slammed and locked the door shut behind them. They were left in darkness, cast in shadows, with only slight patches of light from outside to let them see.

Cronus scooted back, but instead of fear, he felt enjoyment rising to the surface. Ok, yeah, so this was exactly what he'd wanted, even if it hadn't gone quite how he thought it would. For one thing, he wanted to prove that stupid story wrong and actually fight.

He would. Probably. But right now, Kurloz held him to the creaky wooden floor and touched him in all the best ways with fingers far more limber than they had any right to be from a stupid mime who probably didn't do this at all recently.

It only took a minute for Cronus to feel Kurloz's own reactions. That bulge shifted about and hardened against his thigh while Kurloz played with the skin under his shirt.

Ok, enough of being the one on bottom. Cronus smirked and pushed Kurloz away, then rolled over on top. “You vwant this then?” Yeah, he knew it. He'd never had a doubt. This was fine. 

Kurloz took it in stride. Those arms snaked right back up his shirt, and clawed slightly at the skin there. He had a smirk.

Cronus leaned in to kiss. To tongue at the string and feel the cool breath again.

The other troll kissed right back, as well as he was able with those sealed lips. A purr escaped.

Cronus groaned and ground down hard against Kurloz.

The purr got louder.

Cronus pushed his tongue in too hard.

Seams ripped.

The purr tapered and rumbled into a growl.

Kurloz was on him in an instant, grinding down hard, with indigo blood that dripped down and smeared his monochromatic face paint with rich color. His eyes were slits. Claws dug into Cronus' skin, from the shoulders down.

Of course, Cronus fought back. His hands pushed at Kurloz's wrists, and he snarled and snapped his jaws right back at the taller troll. “Get off!”

Apparently not. Kurloz merely dug deeper, and in one swift movement, ripped the shirt front away and tossed it aside. The jacket remained on, and the tattered bloody pieces of his shirt clung to him.

He howled and clawed Kurloz's face.

Apparently not a good idea.

Kurloz snarled and held tight at Cronus' neck. Fingers dug into the skin, but the worst part was how intense the pressure was.

Odd thing, not needing to breath, not needing breath. The body still kicked into full panic flight or fight when it was cut off, even in death. Cronus narrowed his eyes and tried to focus on the other, his claws dug into the wrists holding him down, and his teeth were bared, waiting for anything to get too close. Fins flared, and gills shifted at his neck and chest, trying desperately to take in oxygen where there was none.

Kurloz smirked, bloody and cruel. He leaned in and forced a kiss to those snarling lips.

Cronus bit, hard. More indigo, but it mingled and mixed with smeared greasepaint and violet blood now. His own blood. He tasted the difference in tang, his was richer, and Kurloz's smoother.

He was a little disgusted, and a lot turned on by that. His bulge hardened painfully in the tight confines of his jeans. He ground up against Kurloz. Even as air didn't reach him, he still felt blood pooling into his pelvic region. He silently begged for more of this.

A real blackrom. Or at least something casual. He was cool, he could do casual.

Fucking score.

At Cronus' slight sign of submission, Kurloz loosened the grip and rubbed back against Cronus. His own bulge was just as needy, going by the feel of it against Cronus' thighs. It throbbed and shifted in the skeletal suit.

With a low heady groan, Cronus took in a large gulp of unnecessary but wonderful cool air. Stagnant, from the hive it came from, but sweet when he got any after having none. “Kur... loz.” He knew he was violet tinged. Probably everywhere. It was embarrassing. Plain embarrassing. “Gonna tease me all day?”

That disgusting beautiful mouth turned into a horrible facsimile of a smirk. It pulled and twisted in all the wrong places, and the string was all but out of the torn lips now, left hanging grotesquely.

Cronus ground hard against Kurloz. He was content on bottom, as long as he fucking got some. Any. Hell, even from this freak (who he was definitely going to harass more in the future.)

Kurloz, apparently having some kindness in his dead bloodpusher, reached down with an almost gentle hand, and quickly pulled Cronus out of the jeans.

His bulge was thick, but not maybe as long as he would like. Still, Kurloz seemed impressed with it. If the way those brows shot up and the smile lightened a little was any indication.

With a slight smile that slashed over his own messy face and showed his sharp white teeth, Cronus reached down and stroked at Kurloz's own bulge. His fingers worked at it. His eyes scanned the suit, looking for some trick to getting it open, and gaining that bulge.

Apparently, his motives were clear. Kurloz pulled back a moment, put a finger up saying to wait, and reached back. His arms and elbows shot out at ridiculous angles and his hands moved from the top of his back, to the bottom of his spine. Apparently, there was a little hidden zipper.

Kurloz stood and peeled the suit away entirely, until he was in nothing. The bulge stood proud, and leaked a fair amount of indigo at the tip that dribbled down and smeared along his thighs, where it had been forced while in the suit. 

The bulge in question was an inch or so longer, but ever so slightly thinner. Cronus approved. “So, vwho's pailing vwho, mmm?” He knew what his vote lay on.

Kurloz knelt between Cronus legs, and tugged off the boots Cronus wore. Quick work of those, he tugged off the pants and tossed them aside without a care. 

No warning, and Cronus felt the long bulge slam right up against his insides. He whined and arched back. His mate's claws dug into flesh again, and worked up his hips, his sides, his bare grey chest. 

He looked like a wreck. Shirt torn away, body all cut up, and thin black lips open in an unending moan. His eyes were clenched tight, and he held himself up a bit on his elbows and arms. “Fuck. Kurloz. Givwe me some vwarning next time!” Or not. Not worked too. Yes, not worked too, if it made his body go nuts like that.

Kurloz hummed and slammed into him. Like nothing, he just worked his hips, worked his hands, worked every part of Cronus over until he had a whining, begging little mess writhing under him.

“Fuck. Don't stop. Don't you dare stop!”

Kurloz ceased all movement.

“Damnit Kurloz! You can't just--” his lips were stilled with a single finger and a matching one at Kurloz's lips.

He growled. “Don't shush me!”

Kurloz shrugged and pulled out entirely. He started to stand.

Cronus would not stand for this. He stood up and pushed Kurloz down. “Did I say you could get up before I got off?”

Another shrug. 

Cronus shoved down against Kurloz, and this time he was the one pinning. His body held the silent clown down and he growled. “I didn't. So get back to vwork, or I'll make you scream.”

The snort of laughter was probably the most insulting bit.

Laughing. At him. Like this was a funny stupid joke.

Cronus bit his throat, and shoved his bulge right on into the clown's nook, rough and quick. See how the clown liked it.

Apparently, he liked it.

Legs spread and wrapped about his waist. Arms held at his spine, just under the leather jacket. Claws dug into skin, ever so slightly, and ghosted a painful trail up his back. Kurloz purred again.

Little shit. He slammed in. “You vwon't be purring in a minute.” He bit that throat again, and tasted the indigo that seeped to the surface. 

The purring just got louder. Like this was the plan all along.

Cronus mildly wondered if Kurloz had been the one to write the story, as if it were from a certain lowblood that started with a K, just to get Cronus paranoid and turned on. He could have. The guy was devious and silently evil enough.

And so tight. Fuck. He was about to burst, just being in that nook. He shut his eyes and tried to think of Kankri, his best friend, to calm it.

Didn't work.

All he could think of was Kankri, hot and sweaty and covered only in his sweater. So long, but not long enough to cover the tip of--

Enough of that!

Cronus groaned and held tight to Kurloz. “Vwe need a pail.” Too late.

Kurloz kicked him hard at the base of his spine, then pushed him away. The deed was done though.

Violet glooped out from Kurloz's nook in thick globs of genetic material. The smear of the makeup only served to highlight how pissed Kurloz was. His face contorted in outrage, and smeared grease paint highlighted every contour of his face, and exaggerated the expression. He pulled out a pail and finished, then lobbed it at Cronus.

Ducking didn't keep some of the indigo from smattering him, but he felt alright with that. Maybe, just maybe, he deserved it slightly. Anyway, some of it got in his mouth, and he kinda liked the taste. He lapped his bloody lips and sighed contently. “You're not so bad vwhen you're naked.”

Kurloz's eyes were so narrow, it almost looked like they were shut.

This time it was Cronus' turn to laugh. He stretched with an air of practiced nonchalance and moved to stand.

Kurloz stood as well, eyes still seemingly focused on the other. He tilted his head towards the winding spiral staircase, then turned and headed off.

Curious, Cronus followed as soon as his pants were back on and his boots in place.

In Kurloz's room, the taller troll pulled out a white board and began to write.

Cronus didn't want to tell Kurloz, but it didn't take long for it all to come out.

~~--~~

“Hey pal.” Cronus crooned to Kankri. His cigarette bobbed in his mouth and he leaned forward on the soft little red blanket pile Kankri had on his floor. “Vwanna chat a moment?”

Kankri stiffened and stood as tall as his slight frame allowed. “Cronus! You know you are not to just enter my hive, and more importantly, my respiteblock, without prior permission. I'm not here for your amusement, and you can't simply come over whenever... you...” For once, he was shocked into silence. Kankri's shoulders pushed up a bit, and he took a moment to process Kurloz standing in the corner. “You're also not exactly welcome. I didn't invite either of you here. Pray tell, what possessed the two of you to--”

Cronus held up the story, by now stained with both indigo and violet genetic material and something thinner. Blood. “Vwe just vwanted to knowv if this belonged to you. Sorry, got a little bit smudged. Vwe uh... had a lot of fun vwith it, pal. Chief. Buddy. O'. Mine.” The last few words came out, half curled in a purr, have a low growl. He slowly pushed off the floor and stalked towards Kankri. 

Kurloz stepped into the light.

Both had very clear bonebulges outlined for Kankri to see.

The bright red was worth any chewing out they'd get for this obvious violation of Kankri's morals and personal space. 

Cronus glanced back to Kurloz. “So, vwanna showv the wvirgin just howv accurate his portrayals vwere?”

Kurloz grinned. Lips were mostly healed, and new string held them tightly together so they strained more with every movement. He nodded his head.

Kankri gasped. “Cronus? Kurloz?”

“Don't vworry. Not going to touch you. Just... each other. Unless, of course, you asked for it.”

For his part, Kankri didn't demand they leave at once. He didn't play at innocent, not this time. He sat in a chair at his desk and turned it so he could watch. The sweater covered his pelvis, but not enough it wouldn't show just how much he wanted to watch. Soon.

Cronus smirked. “Remember. Just say the vword. Vwe'll stop. And maybe start vwith you. Kurloz here vwas a pretty damn good sport about maybe letting you havwe fun if you vwant. Don't look a gift horse in the--”

The punch nearly landed. Cronus growled, turned, and aimed his own punch at his newly found kismesis.

He swore he heard a squeak of approval from Kankri, but maybe that was in his imagination. All that really mattered right then was being the one to top for this first time in front of Kankri. 

Cronus held Kurloz down and pressed a rough kiss to those lips, until the thread snapped again. He knew it would only make things harder, but he so loved seeing a beaten and bruised Kurloz sew his own mouth shut again after they pailed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't stop myself. I had to keep writing. What have I done?

The title. The TITLE. Kankri felt fury blazing in his white eyes, but he ignored it and simply began to read. He didn't need to read to know it would be horrible. But he'd skimmed the page, and he already knew. He'd read more, but he knew deep in his bright red blood pusher that they were doing this on purpose. 

 

\---- Kankri's BIG Adventure ----

Kankri Vantas had a problem. A big, big problem. He whimpered and shoved his hands into his pants. Looking in the mirror, he saw that he was slightly soft, but not large. The problem was not his stature or his shape. It was that there was a rather disproportionate bulge writhing and forcing itself out of his pants. And he hadn't washed his twenty sweaters in a long time, having been too busy writing up nonsense on social justice and writing fanfic about his friends having hot sweaty pail sessions.

Kankri Vantas, being the celibate virgin he was, didn't know entirely how to get rid of his bulge and make it shrink down to normal adequately porn star sized. And without a sweater to cover it up (as someone as clean and pure as him could not wear a dirty sweater, he'd be simply aghast at that!) he feared he had no choice but to put something else on that wouldn't constrict his bulge so much, but would also allow him to be covered some while he did his overload of ugly oversized red sweaters.

–

The writer troll wielded his red pen and an almost painful scowl. This? This illiterate garbage was unacceptable. He felt a bright blush tinge his cheeks and reminded himself it was just in shame. Shame that his friends could write such trite nonsense. He considered them better than this. And well, if they were going to leave such things near his hive, not expecting to hear about it from him, they had another thing coming. 

He would make sure they understood how much he did not appreciate this. This reeked of both of them. 

Squinting, he returned to the 'story' to shred it apart with more red marks.

–

With a blush and a smile, he slipped out of his pants and moved to his closet. His cute neko cat ears he'd borrowed from Nepeta, as well as a sexy black and white maid outfit he'd gotten from Kanaya, hung up. Being a good day, he decided to put them both on and strut in front of the mirror. His large bulge nearly hung to his knees, though it swished about a bit, eager for some attention from the virgin, or a helping hand from a sexy partner.

He let out a quiet whimpering moan and stroked his filthy bits for just a second, before he realized that he shouldn't be touching there. It was too dirty for someone as perfect as himself. So he simply pulled on the outfit, laced up the tight corseted back, and put on his very stylish neko ears. Neko maid Kankri. He accepted this, and piled up his countless red sweaters in a sexy heap in his laundry basket, before carting it to his laundry chamber to be cleaned.

On the way, there was a ringing at the door. Kankri, not thinking beyond the social justice he distracted himself with, moved to the door, set the dirty laundry down, and opened it wide.

Cronus Ampora, the sexy love god he was, stood there with a smirk on his face that quickly turned to one of awe. Kurloz Makara, standing tall and mighty beside the really fucking irritating Ampora, nodded in approval and gave thumbs up to the outfit.

Kankri, mind still on the essay he was writing in his mind for disseminating later to all of his unwilling friends, was perplexed by their reactions. He stiffened, both in body, and in bulge, and stared up at the tall sexy trolls. “By all means, I don't mind a guest. But right now I'm busy with many things, not the least of which is my filthy dirty laundry. Is there a particular reason you're here and...” He slowly glanced to his seeping and thick bulge and--

–

Kankri flipped through, unable to read this bit. He could not. He just marked all of it wrong, and moved to page 6. Perhaps they would get less lewd at a later page.

He bit his bottom lip. Porn star sized. Well, he wouldn't know. He wrote things, but watching? Pornography of the physical form was so lewd, and it took advantage of trolls and was entirely problematic in almost all respects. 

So maybe he was? He had seen Cronus and Kurloz in their romp in his respiteblock, but he'd tried not to pay too much attention to their bits. He shifted in his easy chair and positioned himself so he didn't feel quite so constrained. He uncrossed his legs and spread them a bit, then set back to work marking the disgusting piece up.

–

(page 6)

Kankri whined and felt his blood pusher beat hot red lust through his red veins. “Kurloz, I need you!”

Kurloz smirked, obviously the better lover in this.

But a moment later, Kankri whined and arched towards Cronus' skilled touch. “But I need him more. Oh, good god!”

“You rang?” Cronus, the god of everything lusty, easily stroked Kankri to full hardness. “Perhaps you vwant to rethink that celibacy, for me?”

“Oh, yes, yes, absolutely!”

Kurloz, obviously the lesser lover, would be left out.

–

This was ridiculous. Nothing short of ridiculous. He marked errors in voice that made the piece confusing, as well as excessive reiteration of phrases and words. This was still nonsense, and still terrible, but maybe it would get better. 

He could hope at least. 

–

Cronus sucked at Kankri's bulge, with sharp sharklike teeth somehow not making it unpleasant. He lapped along the underside of the thick bulge, and greedily lapped at any fluids that seeped out the tip every time he pulled off nearly all the way.

Kurloz's hands stroked along Kankri's sensitive inner thighs, massaging and kneading the soft flesh there. He didn't talk, but he knew how to work his hands far better than Cronus even knew how to work his mouth.

Which Cronus knew how to do -wvery- well. Cronus sucked and pulled hard at the needy bulge in his mouth and throat. Not needing to breath had its usefulness, and here it meant he could deep throat incredibly. Kankri wouldn't know what hit him.

Kurloz nuzzled against the little monster who'd gone and written Cronus and him into a strange blackrom. His fingers dug, ever so slightly, into the flesh. Claws, but he wielded them without intent to harm, but rather with intrigue. He scraped marks along the thighs, ran little circles that raised the skin ever so slightly. 

Cronus pulled off as he felt the bulge shift and writhe more than usual. “Easy, Chief. Vwe don't vwant you popping off to soon. Vwant to catch that all in a bucket first. Or Kurloz's nook. He's greedy for it.”

Kurloz kicked him in the face. Cronus fell back, but it was alright. Cronus was a slut for that kind of treatment, and Kurloz wasn't worried, even if Kankri squirmed in the most adorable manner in his lap.

–

Oh.

Oh this was. This was beyond unacceptable. He was furious, truly, just, absolutely uh... furious.

Kankri panted a little and let the red pen fall. It clattered to the floor. Let them have their cheap drivel fiction. He didn't need to waste his time marking it. They wouldn't improve anyway.

And he wanted to know how this ended. 

For uh, research purposes.

–

Kankri's body shifted in anticipation. He stared up with lidded white eyes at Cronus and Kurloz. “I am not overly positive that this is a good idea. I am, after all... celibate.”

“You don't vwant to, you don't havwe to. Could stop here.”

Kurloz nodded slowly.

Kankri breathed in heavily. “Perhaps...” He shut his eyes a moment and just felt it all. Their fingers had left marks in his mind, where he could practically feel their touches from where they'd teased and played with him. Kisses still lingered, ghosting memories he wanted to fill with the actual thing once more. Where they had lightly clawed at him, he still felt the slight sting of it. 

Kankri Vantas did not want to be celibate by choice any more. He wanted them. Now.

He opened his eyes and pulled Cronus down onto him. “It better be as good as you insist it is.”

“Chief, you felt howv my mouth vwas. Howv Kurloz touched you. I knowv you liked it. So... is this consent?”

Kankri nodded slowly.

After a moment, Cronus kissed his black lips, full of passion and hunger for his best friend, then slowly lowered him into a laying position on the pile of red sweaters. “Just relax. I'll make it vwonderful for you.”

Kankri shuddered in pleasure as the tip of Cronus' bulge slipped in and--

–

No. That was not the end. They could not end it there that was unreasonable and a deliberate attempt to rile his anger!

No no no no no no no.

He flipped back to the pages he'd skipped in anger, then impatience, then anticipation.

No, this was not fair.

He was triggered.

Those cruel horrible friends, doing something like this to him. And if that had happened to them when he refused to write any more, and when he'd refused to even see them again in the last few days after they'd invaded his hive, then that was not on him! It was certainly not his fault that they had read his unfinished and private story.

He set the story down with a shaky hand and stood slowly, carefully. His pants were far too tight.

They had made a mockery of him.

Kankri Vantas was both infuriated and aroused and he perhaps felt a bit more black than he'd known in many, many sweeps. Intentional that he feel that particular way, or not, they had brought it upon themselves.

He sat down and considered his options. 

He wasn't one for being mischievous, but sometimes that was the real option when dealing with certain individuals.

 

–

Kankri stood before them, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, jaw set in a firm line with his face. “You honestly thought that such a lewd work would get my attention? Unfortunately, you are not entirely incorrect in such an assumption. I'm ashamed of you. Both of you. I wrote that piece that you got your claws on as a distraction during one of the lulls between essays. And you wrote that simply to exploit my celibacy for your own perverse amusement. I would like to list the triggers that you--”

“Kankri.” Cronus stepped over. “Listen, pal. It vwas a joke. Haha, and anyvway... I think you liked it.” He winked at Kankri. “I mean, othervwise, vwhy vwould you be here?”

Kurloz stepped closer, so Cronus and him both stood directly in front of Kankri. Their tall frames dwarfed him in comparison, but he stood as tall as he was able and tilted his head back to glare up. “Cronus Ampora, Kurloz Makara, I'm shocked and ashamed at your deplorable actions. Honestly. I wrote a work of art in homage to you both and what, obviously, is working well. You owe this new relationship, however well it is going, to me. Billions of sweeps, and you hadn't done anything. But still, you reading my story was on accident. You deliberately put that provocative--”

“So it vwas provwacativwe?”

Kankri snorted. “Yes. In the most vulgar of senses. I was triggered at least--”

“I bet you vwere. But tell me-- us,” he pointed to Kurloz with a hitched thumb, “howv you liked it.”

“I... Cronus. I'm not here to... say such things! I am here to let you know that I do not appreciate you leaving such a work on my step like that!”

“Come on, you're not that celibate if you're vworking on things evwen I nevwer touched before.”

Kankri's lip twitched into a scowl. “My reasons for celibacy are none of your business.”

“You vwere pretty into us at your hivwe the other day.” Cronus stepped into Kankri's space and leaned in, so their horns barely touched. “I vwouldn't havwe sent you that if I thought you vweren't at least a little into it.”

Kankri took a step back. “Uh...”

Kurloz stepped to the side, then moved around so he was behind Kankri. Hands lightly touched those shoulders. He leaned in. Cold breath caught at Kankri's neck.

The tiny troll shifted from foot to foot, then glanced from Cronus back to Kurloz. “Perhaps we could do something. But please, nothing as... cliché and terrible as what you had me do in the story.”

“Hey, vwe can understand that. Vwere just havwing a bit of fun, you knowv?” Cronus smiled, and his sharklike teeth glinted in the light. “Could havwe a seat, and Kurloz and I can just talk to you for a bit. You knowv, get you relaxed. No pressure.”

Kankri stiffened. “Cronus. I know how you are when you get that tone. And it is very rarely you get it with me, considering... I believe we were or are moirails... But I have heard it before, and neither the tone, nor your predatory gaze and smile are appreciated. I might ignore the gossip, but that means very little in terms of if I hear it or not.”

“Awvwv, come on. It ain't that bad. Havwe a seat. Vwe'll just talk unless you say othervwise.”

Kankri peeled away from Kurloz, and turned from Cronus, towards the chair in the corner. “Perhaps.”

Slowly, Kankri relaxed. Cronus just talked. In that smooth, soft voice he had. But it was thick, and Kankri had heard it in passing, when the other wanted to seduce someone. He pulled down on his sweater, trying to cover himself more. 

It wasn't celibacy because he felt no attraction. It was celibacy because nudity alarmed him. And for all his essays and discussions on the body being an acceptable thing (for others) he really hadn't much confidence in his own. Oh, he had ideas. Things he would, theoretically, like to do. An entire cabinet was full of these thoughts.

Billions of sweeps, dead in a dream bubble, well, that lead to a lot of things being written down if you were him or Aranea. They both liked to write and talk. About anything. Everything.

But he sat, and allowed them to move closer, slowly closer.

It felt like some sort of nonsense competition, and that was uncomfortable to him. He didn't want to be a prize, only to be lorded over towards the other. He didn't like that idea.

But the idea of the both of them enjoying him as he was, for himself, not to get one up over the other? Kankri breathed in deeply of the room. It smelled like them both. He maybe wouldn't mind if he did too.

Apparently the accidental pairing was going well. He hadn't even really meant for it to happen. He hadn't meant for them to find the story, and certainly he hadn't meant for them to pail and then come find him and show him the results of his mistaken success.

But here they were. Eyes on him. Focused on him.

He couldn't see why.

Cronus tapped him lightly on the shoulder and leaned in closer than he had any right. “Daydreaming?”

“Hmm.” Kankri found himself speechless, similar to Kurloz, though for a less upsetting reason. “I have zero intention of doing anything with anyone that I don't know where I sit with them.”

“Come again?”

Ah. Awkward phrasing. Curse being nervous. “What quadrant would we even be in, assuming that I accepted your blatant and potentially triggering advances. Cronus? Kurloz? I don't know where we would sit.”

“You could possibly be my matesprit?”

“Hmm.”

“No?”

“I do not know. That seems like an odd arrangement. If you had me as a matesprit but we weren't both feeling similar red feelings, it would be strange. And then add in you're clearly also pushing Kurloz in this direction. I don't really--”

“Don't vworry about it so much. Vwe're not pushing anything. Just... nudging.”

“Hmm.” Kankri crossed his arms more firmly. “Perhaps I could... negotiate things. You will both need an auspitice. And I can calm both of you down when required.” 

“Sure.”

“But I have no desire to simply be toyed with here. I have remained celibate not by force, but by choice. I won't have my bloodpusher... manipulated and shattered as I have seen for so many of us, and all our various iterations, when they allow themselves into relationships in the flushed quadrants.”

“Sure, I understand that. Vwe can figure something out, I'm positivwe, chief. Does that mean you're at least considering it?” His best smile.

Kurloz seemed interested in knowing as well, if his head's slight inclination towards Kankri meant anything.

“I would be. If you two had the consideration to come see me in person instead of sending me poorly crafted stories that are clearly just there to irritate and vex me.”

\--- 

Cronus and Kurloz stared down at the paper in their hands. He'd left a story, instead of coming to see them himself. Fair, considering what they'd done. Irritating as well.

“He's a real clevwer one, ain't he?”

Kurloz nodded.

Cronus smirked over at Kurloz, “You knowv, I think that's him saying he's into the idea though.” He leaned back and regarded the story once more. 

The nod stilled and a slow, slippery smile spread over Kurloz's sewn lips. 

“Good question, thinking vwhat quadrant though. Vwhat the hell kinda relationship are vwe evwen trying for?”

Kurloz pulled out his board. --We're old. Does it matter? I don't really care about labels at this point.--

Cronus smirked and put the 'story' away. “Kinda a shame he didn't come here himself to tell us that though. Could probably havwe convwinced him of a fewv things. Like howv I'm clearly the one to start vwith, if he's looking for a good time.”

Quickly scrawled. --You get it started, I have to finish it myself. Like always.--

Cronus snorted. “Oh, vwatevwer. You knowv I'm the best you'vwe evwer had!”

Kurloz arched a brow. He shook his head.

“Ok, yeah? Vwell, maybe I havwen't been trying hard enough.” He lunged.

Kurloz shifted to the side easily enough, then caught Cronus by the horns and slammed him onto the pile they shared. He pinned the slightly older troll and smirked down. Really now?

Cronus growled, bared his sharp teeth, and reached up to catch at Kurloz's throat.

Kurloz couldn't move back enough. The claws dug in, and indigo seeped out. But he only kept that still smile and pressed down harder. His thin body ground roughly against Cronus', force directly proportional to how hard Cronus dug into his neck. After a few moments, he reached his own hands down to the claws at his neck, and attempted to remove them.

He could see his own indigo, in little rivulets down the contours of Cronus' muscular arm. He grit his teeth behind sewn sneering lips and rocked forward, so his skull cracked against Cronus'. It left him a bit dizzy, but it had the desired effect. Cronus let go. He yanked his hand on Cronus' wrist free, then pulled it back, and punched it into the other troll's nose.

The scream satisfied. The solid crack and rush of cold violet did so even more.

The bite on his throat, and the way he was so easily pinned a moment later? That left him disoriented, but fully aroused. He arched defiantly up against Cronus, with his bulge thick and needy in his suit, and so much pressure and friction between the two of them.

“Maybe I should just go havwe Kan for myself. Fuck you, Kurloz.”

The scowl turned to a smile. He leaned up and nuzzled against Cronus.

It confused Cronus, just as he wanted. Kurloz sliced into his stomach gills, savored the screech, and forced Cronus back onto his back. Right where the troll belonged. His stitches strained a bit at the smile, but he didn't mind. They'd both be covered in indigo and violet by the end. He ripped that shirt up and off, then tossed it aside like the trash it belonged to. 

Seemed he'd gotten the gills pretty well. Cronus panted and gasped, eyes wide, mouth open in a whine.

He really liked it when Cronus behaved like this. It made hurting him a lot nicer. Why hadn't he done this before Kankri and that stupid story?

He shrugged, to himself mostly, then slid down Cronus' body and began to work at the top button of the jeans. Button out of the way, he quickly undid the zipper, until the bulge flopped out, needy and seeping thick violet.

Bad boy hadn't even worn anything underneath. He ripped those pants down, and tossed them aside like he had the shirt. Naked, whining, and his. That was how this Ampora needed to be much more often.

Cronus, apparently, had different ideas. He arched his neck and bit into Kurloz's neck. Hard.

Freak. Kurloz moaned and lifted his knee just enough to slam it against the tender bulge that Cronus sported.

That took care of that. Cronus screamed and released.

Kurloz pulled the pre-tied knots of rope out of his sylladex, arched one devious black brow, then looped them around Cronus' wrists. In a moment, he was up and tying it to the heavy wooden desk near the pile.

Cronus didn't seem to know what was going on. He stared up, wide eyed, and violet tears slipped down his face.

Poor thing. Kurloz really wasn't being kind.

Kurloz hummed and stood over Cronus, staring him down. Since their first time or two, he'd upped his game. No one could be blamed for the fairly tame first few encounters, considering how long it had been since either had a blackmate. 

But how was he to keep his reputation as the scariest of their group if he didn't pull a few tricks here or there? He slowly knelt between Cronus' legs.

Cronus had the poor notion of kicking at him.

He caught an ankle and twisted it, hard, then slammed it into the ground. The other hand just waited, tempting Cronus to try it. Silence.

His violet blackmate stilled and let his legs go lax.

Kurloz nodded approval, and reached down to stroke at Cronus' bulge. Cronus always started these things, and he had to finish them. Not that he minded. This? The way Cronus was furious, pained, terrified, and most importantly? Turned on? Yeah. Kurloz had forgotten how good this could feel.

Cronus shifted.

Kurloz clawed lightly at the bulge in his hand. Silent warning.

All movement on Cronus' end stopped, except for the heavy panting and the unconscious nibbling at those pretty black lips.

Kurloz leaned down and rubbed the bulge against his cheek. Black and white grease paint smeared a monochromatic scheme onto it, but he didn't mind. It just showed who belonged to who. A smirk slit across his grotesquely sewn lips and he glanced up with a glazed expression towards Cronus. 

Uncertain, Cronus squirmed against the bonds.

Painted lids narrowed and Kurloz leaned in. Don't.

Cronus ceased that nonsense, though he smirked. 

Arrogant little chump. Kurloz clawed along an inner thigh and raised his fingers up to lap at the blood there. 

The groan surprised him a bit. Cronus' eyes seemed lusting, and his mouth hung in a soft 'o'. He arched up a bit. “Come on, Chief. Enough playing. If you're gonna do it, do it.”

Kankri shrugged.

“Kurloz.”

Another shrug, and he stood up again and moved to his desk. Kurloz sat down and pulled a book off his worn wooden shelf.

“Fuck. You can't just leavwe me here, hard and ready. Or vwet and ready. You knowv, I don't care howv you do it, but you better not just sit there and not pail me!”

Kurloz reached down onto the floor where his whiteboard lay. He quickly scrawled a message. --Anything?--

“Come again?”

\--You want me to pail you, no matter how I do it?--

“Yeah, isn't that more than a bit obvwious? I knowv you can't speak anymore, but you're not blind like Terezi, or unable to smell like Latula. I'm hard, I'm vwet, and I smell like sex. So givwe it to me!”

Rudeness really was asking for punishment. He stood slowly, nodded serenely, and moved between Cronus' legs once more. Anything Cronus asked for.

“I don't like that look.”

But Kurloz enjoyed the feeling the fueled it. Sadism, pure and simple. And a willing, no, eager target for it. How had he passed this up?

Oh. Yes. Cronus was repulsive.

He had his uses though. And he was actually a far better lover than expected. Kurloz reached back with easy limberness and unzipped all the way down his body suit. He kept his focus on Cronus the entire time. Every eager pulse of that greased bulge, every twitch of that nook that begged for a bulge. And of course, that tight, no doubt virginal chute.

The very idea appealed to him. That he was able to carry it out made things even sweeter.

He slipped out of his suit and placed it to the side. His body angled up between Cronus' legs, and he held the legs up a bit to get his bulge aligned.

“Uh, Kurloz? Buddy? Pal? That's not... my nook.” Palpable fear. The stench of it was sweet. The fear twisted and turned, and mingled with arousal. Most importantly, there was rage that slowly burned higher the longer Kurloz remained with the tip of his bulge against the tight chute's entrance.

Cronus scowled. “I didn't fucking agree to this!”

But Cronus had. And they both knew it. Wasn't Kurloz's fault Cronus was so eager to be pailed he didn't care about watching his wording and using his mouth better.

He was terrible. Probably a monster. He didn't mind. Because Cronus arched against him, and he could scowl and curse all he liked, but that chute clenched and relaxed around his fingers. Because he didn't just shove in with his bulge. Not this time. Maybe some other time.

But this first time he would be careful, and slow, and let the humiliation and the antagonizing way he looked, and fucked gentle when they both knew he could rip Cronus Ampora open, be punishment and blackflirting enough. He didn't have to prove anything.

Two fingers, then three, and it was a good thing for Cronus that there was so much wetness that slipped down from his nook, because Kurloz didn't use any lubrication other than Cronus' when he stretched that hole out.

Three fingers, and two minutes into fingering Cronus into a needy whiny pile of trash, and Kurloz decided he was done with feeling the tightness on his fingers. He pulled them out, and shoved his thick bulge in without any ceremony. The tip was easy, but the more that went in, the wider the hole was stretched. He grunted and shut his eyes, to try and get it all in without hurting himself.

Fuck Cronus. This was about making it not terrible for his own bulge.

Cronus whined and whimpered and arched harder against it. Syllables and simple words came out. It was supposed to be dirty talk, but it fell flat. Kurloz was disappointed, honestly. He liked hearing others talk. Anyone. Even Kankri. Because they could talk, and he was not allowed to. 

He slapped Cronus, hard, across the cheeks.

“Vwhat the fuck vwas that for?”

Kurloz didn't reply. He simply thrust harder.

“You're a sick fuck, you knowv that? I mean...” His eyes widened. Apparently that last thrust got him twisting and squirming harder, and made Cronus lose his words.

Kurloz rolled his eyes. He angled another rough thrust, and hoped to reap the word reward.

“Oh, fuck, please.”

Good. Another.

“Kurloz, fuck, I can't.”

Filthy words. Kurloz slammed in.

“You're so thick, god, you knowv it too, don't you? Like hearing me, huh?”

He nodded. And stilled.

Cronus blinked, then smirked a bit and relaxed into the pile under him. “Kurloz... vwanna feel you so deep.” His arms strained against the bonds, but not nearly enough to break them.

Kurloz dug his fingers into those delicious hips and nodded. Go on.

“Please, vwant you to take me. Showv me vwho's boss.”

Yes. He slowly thrust in, gentle and easy.

“Oh, vwant to be fucked!”

He forcefully pulled out and rammed back in.

“Vwant to scream your name!”

His own eyes shut and he simply fell into the rhythm. Every filthy phrase, every uttered moan, all of the curses, and especially when his name was called, it all got him going harder. Faster. Too much, too soon, too bad, he didn't care.

Kurloz Makara was good at finishing what Cronus Ampora started.

This time, he finished first, and Cronus could just lay there, filled up the chute with indigo genetic material.

Kurloz pulled out with a quiet plop of his bulge. No sooner was he done, he pulled his suit back on and zipped it back up. Moments later, he was back at his desk, reading a story.

Maybe when he wanted to pail Cronus later, he'd give Cronus some relief.

For now, Cronus Ampora could shut his mouth, because he was trying to read. Kurloz glared down at the stammering, scowling, shouting Cronus, in all his cute little phases of confusion and denial. He sighed, pulled out a long colorful scarf from one of his little known magic tricks, and shoved it into Cronus' mouth.

Ah. Peace. And. Quiet. Just how he liked it. And the small amount of mumbling and grunting beside and below him could just be ignored.

Kurloz kicked his feet up on the desk and got lost in the world of make believe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more tricks. This is straight up fanfic with no meta fanfic included.  
> I promise.

Cronus glanced to Kurloz. Maybe he should just do this alone. But he kinda wanted to do it with Kurloz too. But then again--

Kurloz was too quick for Cronus' internal conflict, and he reached out and rang the doorbell with absolutely no concern showing for Cronus' feelings on turning back. The bastard.

Well, too late to go back now. But Kurloz seems ok not actually doing it if Kankri doesn't want it. And Cronus definitely wouldn't force the issue. But then again, the 'story' was pretty clear that it was just fine if they came over, as long as they came over, and they knew what they were doing.

Not that Kankri explicitly said he would lose it. He hadn't said that at all. For all Cronus knew, Kankri just wanted to watch again. Maybe that was all Cronus wanted too (that was a lie and he knew it, but he bit it down anyway and smiled.) 

Anyway, there was movement inside. Cronus buried his hands in his tight jean pockets and glanced back to Kurloz. Don't be a dick.

Whatever, you started it. 

He maybe didn't sign, or understand what Kurloz signed, but he'd learned a lot from those seemingly blank gazes. It was in the eyes, in the curl of the lips, in the way those brows twisted. It was the lines on his cheeks, and the posture of his shoulders and back. Maybe Cronus was wrong on most of the things, but he was pretty certain he knew what the guy was trying to say.

Never before did he really care. He'd always avoided Freakshow and that kind of limited any silent communication skills between them.

God, how long did it take for Sweater to come down the stairs and greet them? Was this a game? No, Kankri didn't really play games. Then again, Kankri had sent that teasing story that was a giant middle finger Kankri would never admit to it being. So maybe he did. Apparently everyone had surprises but him. 

Maybe Kankri would come to the door in a maid outfit and cat ears.

Cronus grinned, and his unlit cigarette bobbed a bit. “Vwhat's taking him so long, you think?”

A noncommittal shrug, but then Kurloz stood on his tip toes and narrowed his eyes to peer through the glass at the top of the door. He returned to his normal height and shrugged again, this time with palms up and out. Who knows.

Cronus tried not to be impatient, but as the minute wound on, he grit his teeth and tapped his feet.

This was a mistake. It was a joke, haha, very funny. Or maybe it wasn't a joke, but Kankri was just too nervous to answer. Like the guy knew. Probably, Sweater did.

Shit, what if they did do things, and then it ruined their friendship? What if Kankri didn't want to speak to him again? As much as Sweater could drive him further into the deep end than a Makara, he really didn't want to lose contact. What if Kankri thought that he had forced this, and resented Cronus and told everyone Cronus was a terrible troll-- not even a humankin-- and not worthy of even their basest acknowledgment for his problematic enforcing of a sexual system on someone who clearly was celibate by choice and wanted no part of the sexual--

“Hello. Sorry I didn't answer directly, I was finishing a load of laundry.” Kankri smiled, and there was nothing forced in it. 

Cronus leaned on the door frame. “Gonna let us in, or?”

“Yes, of course. I trust that you received my letter?”

Cronus was in the hive then, after he stomped his feet on the welcome mat and pushed past Kurloz to get in first. “Yeah, yeah, pretty slick vwriting it up like that. Kinda raised our browvs. Good on you.”

“Well, if you hadn't been so crude in your own story, I wouldn't have done that. Two can play that game.”

He could hear the smirk in the tone. Smug jerk. But he kind of likes smug jerks. There's a reason he was there with Freakshow and Sweater. He turned with a sharp grin. “Thought more about vwhat vwe vwere hinting at?”

“Not to be rude, but obviously, Cronus. I mean, I sent you a reply. And I allowed you into my hive. If you'd like me to go into the finer details of--”

His hand is up, “Vwon't be necessary. Just vwanted to make sure you vwere cool vwith... at least trying a little bit more than before.”

“Perhaps.” 

He saw the anxiety then. He really did want to soothe that. Also, he kinda wanted to pound the fuck out of Kankri. He's a complex guy, with complex feelings. Nothing wrong with that. “You knowv, kinda a shame you did your laundry nowv, vwhen vwe're just going to make you dirty.”

“Ugh, please, keep your cheap pickup lines and dirty talk to yourself. I'm not asking for that.” But a blush began to tinge on those cheeks, bright red like the ungodly thick formless sweater. 

Cronus glanced to Kurloz and arches a brow in question. What should we do?

Kurloz just started on towards the stairs. Respite block.

Cronus and Kankri follow, silent. And Cronus was pretty sure he wasn't the only one who felt like his insides had dropped to the floor and his blood pusher was working too hard.

He strut close by Kankri and leaned in to whisper, “You sure you vwanna? I mean, I vwant to, but no pressure.”

“Truth be told. I'm rather excited. And I would go on at lengths, but these... sorts of things leave me remarkably tongue tied, or the opposite. And since you apparently think I speak in essays to my friends, I'd rather be silent than long-winded.”

“Oh, come on, don't take it like that. Vwe vwere just teasing a bit. I kinda like it vwhen you talk. Evwen those essays.”

Kankri pulled his thick red sweater down and straightened his back. “Is that so?”

“Mmmhmm. I like your wvoice. Vwhen you're not yelling at me.”

“Please, I don't yell. And at any rate, even if I were to yell, can you honestly say that in those situations it's entirely uncalled for? Not that I should lose my temper, but you and others can be quite vexing sometimes.” He tilted his head back and crossed his arms. His feet were clad in black socks, and his steps were silent on the way up the stairs to his respite block.

Cronus' own steps sounded like thunderclaps to him. He wasn't nervous. This was fine. Everything was fine.

He was going to pail his best friend.

He'd never ever even pushed at those boundaries, in an attempt to maintain the only friendship that wasn't completely fucked. And now he might lose that.

No. No, he'd be fine. Everything was fine. 

Kurloz opened the door, and ushered them inside. 

They sat on the pile.

No one said much for a minute.

Finally Cronus stretched and yawned. “So, uh. Vwhy don't you vwanna showv vwhat's under the sweater? I knowv red's a good color on you, but I kinda vwanna see vwhat sexy body you'vwe got going on underneath, you feel me?”

Red filled in those grey cheeks and Kankri glared. His arms crossed. “Is that honestly the way you attempt seduction?”

He had to laugh. Yeah. Yeah, it was. A quick glance to Kurloz, who was smiling, and then back to Kankri. “You must be real nervwous. I'vwe barely said anything to vworry about and already you're blushing.”

“I'm not nervous.” That chin tipped up again. 

“No? Vwell, I am.”

“What?”

“Sure. Could mess up a good thing. But also could make a better one.” 

“Hmm.” He turned his head away a bit.

Now or never. Cronus slid closer. A hand reached for Kankri's smaller one. “Vwhy don't you just relax. Vwe'll relax together.” He pressed up close. Perhaps too close. But he was making an effort here to be seductive. He even used the flirting voice Kankri had written about. Come on, Kankri had to have a thing for that. He'd written about it!

“You take off your shirt first.” These words didn't hold the same near-tremor as the others. Confidence began to back them.

“You drivwe a hard bargain.” He wasn't to the last word, and his shirt was all the way across the room, hanging from a wall lamp. Seductively.

Kankri grinned, then covered it with cupped hands. “Honestly. You don't have to toss things around.”

“But it's fun. And sexy too.” He reached forward and caught at the hem of Kankri's sweater, and peeled it up just a few inches.

Kankri put his hand on Cronus', but did not stop him. He helped. Slowly, the soft grey skin was revealed under vibrant red sweater, until finally Cronus just pulled it up and over Kankri's head. The thick black hair that normally lay down mostly nice and neat poofed out far too much. Like Mituna, without the helmet.

Cronus snickered.

Kankri glared and scooted back. He quickly pulled a blanket from his pile up and covered his chest. There might not have been any color in those eyes, but there was clearly offense and betrayal in the posture and facial contortions.

Damn it. Cronus stilled. “Vwhoa, hey. Vwasn't laughing at you. I think you look vwonderful.”

“I knew this was a bad--”

“Shhh.” Cronus pressed a finger to his lips, then reached down and pulled out his comb. “Just nevwer sawv you looking unkempt like. Like the look, but if you vwant me to fix it, I can. Sexy.”

Kankri glanced down. The blanket slowly lowered. Bare chest and stomach showed. Small red vestigial wiggler legs adorned his sides, a bit higher than usual on trolls. He nodded.

Cronus scooted a bit closer, and combed quickly through the thick hair. Then he leaned in for a reward kiss.

The inhale. The soft spicy warmth that emanated from Kankri, even in death, and even in the bubbles. The way Kankri's fingers slowly reached out and stroked at his. 

Cronus was a fool for not at least attempting this before. But maybe it wouldn't have worked. He never knew. All he knew was someway or another, he had Kankri on his lap. His hands stroked along those sensitive nubs of vestigial legs and he smirked into the kiss every time Kankri moaned or gasped.

Kurloz wasn't the only one with skilled fingers. 

Speaking of, Kurloz was being silent. And though Freakshow didn't talk, he still usually made some noise.

Cronus peeked over and sighed. Kurloz was already half hard and rubbing himself through the suit. Classy.

Kurloz winked.

Gross. Cronus winked back. Never did he falter in the kiss. In fact, his tongue grew bolder, and Kankri gave up more for Cronus to explore.

His hand also went places he hadn't dared minutes before. It cupped Kankri's bulge and-- oh shit. What? He glanced down and found that there was far too much trying to fit into those pants.

Oh. Kankri really did have a huge bonebulge. 

Kankri stilled. “What? Is there something wrong? You seem anxious.”

Turned on beyond belief. “No, it's fine.” He wanted it. “It's perfect.” The words weren't as forced as the first ones. They came out in a rumbling purr. “Vwhy don't vwe lay dovwn nowv?”

Kankri slipped off his lap and rolled onto his back. He licked his bottom lip unconsciously and his fingers twisted in the warm red blankets beneath him.

Good old Kankri, having the best piles in the dream bubbles so he could have great feelings jams and let Cronus be comfortable.

Would those end after this?

Cronus lay over top of him and lightly pinned Kankri to the floor. “Is evwerything ok so far?”

“Yes.” Another lick of his lips.

Cronus caught that tongue mid-swipe with a kiss. His own bulge shifted and writhed in his tight jeans, but he ignored it for now. This was special. He wasn't going to rush this.

Subtly, he ran his hands back up Kankri's arms and to his shoulders. Fingers kneaded at the skin and flesh, then worked their way down his chest, along the planes and contours of his curvy stomach, and to the hem of those pants. Clever fingers undid the button at the top, and worked the zipper just as easily.

Kankri never stopped his redmate, he only deepened the kiss and wrapped his own hands about Cronus' back. Pared claws dug into flesh, and scored marks up Cronus' spine.

The bulge was free. Red, thick, and far too long to have gone unused for so long. But that would be remedied. Cronus pulled from the kiss with a slight gasp and nodded. “You vwant this?”

“As much as I appreciate you checking on me to ensure my consent, be certain that in this situation I will inform you, very vocally, if I remove my consent at any time... Thank you.”

He was in. It only took how long, a strange kismesis relationship with Kurloz, and some weird fanfic about them all, but he was in. This was it. He gave Kankri a lopsided grin and reached down to undo his own pants. Quickly, he pushed them down and shimmied out of them. 

Kankri snorted at the movement, obviously amused, though it didn't seem mocking. Cronus would know.

“Vwhat? Too hot for you to handle?”

“Hardly.” The tone was low. Kankri pulled Cronus back. “Perhaps you could show me how...”

“Say no more.” He pressed another quick kiss to those shiny black lips, grinned a bit wider, and moved over Kankri's bulge.

“Uh, Cronus?”

“Don't vwant to givwe it?”

“Well. That's not entirely the case. I just... thought you'd rather be the one doing it.”

“I'll showv you the ropes, don't you vworry that pretty head.” He ruffled the hair.

Kankri pushed the hand away, but he didn't seem displeased. “I just got it fixed again.”

Cronus ruffled it harder.

Kankri pushed his hand through Cronus' greased hair, and broke up all the clumps with some intense scratching. “Oh no. Look what I did.”

Little shit. He couldn't help but laugh, and slam himself down onto that bulge that waited so patiently. “Oh no. Look vwhat I did.”

The troll beneath him howled and arched. 

Cronus lifted up again, and rocked down onto the bonebulge. It was so thick, so perfect in his nook. And despite Kurloz's best efforts, Cronus was pretty tight down there. He clenched his pelvic muscles and his nook grew a bit tighter, and his bulge twisted, turned, and flopped up with a thick plop against his belly. “You like howv I feel on you? Riding you?”

Kankri's eyes were lidded already. He nodded, then let out another shout.

So much for the soft whines and whimpers he imagined. The red blooded troll underneath him was loud. Every movement got another scream, or sharp cry. 

Those short yellow nails dug deep into his hips, and before a minute had passed, Kankri pulled Cronus down hard, then forced him back up. Every movement Kankri guided.

Thick, long, almost too big. It had been a joke both Kurloz and him had been in on. They'd laughed (well, he'd laughed, Kurloz had given a hearty shoulder roll and smiled) and written it. And that was it. Except they were right. Kankri was fucking huge.

And right then, Kankri was fucking him. Like he'd done this, only every few movements, he dug in a little too hard, or moved a little bit odd. 

Cronus didn't mind in the least. He rolled his hips and slammed down every other moment, and the groans of satisfaction he received were well worth the slight soreness he felt in his nook.

A hand reached around from behind him and took hold of his bulge. He shut his eyes and leaned back into the lean lanky troll.

Kurloz had wonderful fingers. They sought out the base of his bulge every time he rose off of Kankri's bulge, then worked to the tip each time Cronus slammed back down to the hilt. Cold breath brought goosebumps to the surface of his skin, all along the neck and shoulders. Warmth from his redmate fought with cold from his blackmate. 

He was going to come if he didn't keep it all together. There was too much stimulation.

Maybe he whined, just a little.

He could feel both of them smirking, even if he still kept his eyes shut to try and block out a bit of it and keep from going prematurely. “Fuck, guys, I need--”

The ring was cold, but it moved down his shaft easily enough. He did open his eyes for that. A simple glance told him all he needed to know. Apparently, no, he was not going to come prematurely. And as much as he appreciated Kurloz for that thoughtful thing, he wanted to claw his eyes out too.

Kurloz winked, then shoved him down so his chest rubbed against Kankri's.

“Kurloz!” Cronus grit his teeth and breathed hard. “You can't just-- ohh...” Slick fingers played at his chute. “Could at least ask evweryone before just going ahead vwith things!” But truth be told, as long as Kankri wasn't vocally against it, he sure as human Hell wasn't going to complain. Those fingers worked magic everywhere, not just on the surface. Inside too.

But there was no complaint from Kankri. He stilled his thrusts and caught his breath against Cronus' neck. “What are you doing back there?”

“He's... planning to vwork my chute.”

Kankri let out a delicious moan and arched his head back. “That's horrible.”

“Yeah...” But Cronus knew the tone. The way those lips curled in pleasure just at the thought. “You're not gonna mind, are ya?”

“No.”

This was really happening. Cronus pressed a kiss to that hot little mouth, and worked his tongue against those sharp teeth. 

The fingers in him stopped scissoring, and after a moment, a thick slippery bonebulge pressed against the base of his spine, wriggled a bit, and then found its way towards his entrance.

Cronus inhaled deeply and relaxed onto Kankri.

Kankri's hands stroked his back, and Kurloz's rubbed at his vestigial legs, just to get that extra bit of relaxation in.

Slowly, ever so slowly this time, Kurloz eased himself in. Finally, after an agonizing time waiting, Kurloz hilted. The indigo and red trolls touched, just barely, with the bases of their bulges. Neither seemed to mind.

Cronus felt Kurloz nod, and watched Kankri nod as well.

Oh good lord he couldn't do this. Too much. Too much stimulation. He arched and his claws dug into the blankets, ripping at the soft fabric and shredding at it. “Fuck!” He was lost to real words, hot phrases, and sexy dirty talk. He had two bulges in him, and both his flushed quadrant mates were pailing him. Hard.

Neither held back, it seemed.

Kankri would gyrate his hips up, and Kurloz would simultaneously slam right deep into his chute. 

If he weren't already in the approximation of human Heaven just by being in a dream bubble and an afterlife, he'd say he was in it only from this. He could practically feel them all the way into his stomach. Every movement made him whine, growl, or shout.

Too much? More like, just exactly the right amount. How had he gone without? There were four hands on him. Groping, stroking, grabbing. Rough hands, gentle hands, slaps, pinches. He didn't know who was who entirely, not with how fast it went. With how much he got.

Ring or not, he was ready. “I need a bucket.” It was not a begging tone. He was not begging. Either bucket, or he made them all messy. And hey, that was definitely a thing he had a kink for. So fuck them if they weren't quick enough.

Kankri stilled. “Ah, I.. I don't have one right out. I should have thought ahead, I--”

Kankri snorted and pushed in harder. The message was clear. Come anyway.

Or maybe it was something else. Come and see what happens?

Cronus did not care. All he knew was that the ring wouldn't keep it at bay. And he didn't currently have one on him either. He'd used the last clean pail a few hours before with Kurloz.

And Freakshow apparently wasn't going to give him one.

He didn't have time to try and think of something. Kurloz hit that spot with renewed passion, and he felt his nook contract about Kankri's thickness, constricting it, and trying to suck its genetic material out. He felt his own bulge pulse.

It was over. He spurted, and spray after spray of thick genetic material hit his own belly in a high arch, then landed on Kankri's. The violet looked lovely on Kankri, if he did say so himself.

Kankri's eyes narrowed. They shut entirely and he shouted rage when some of the material got into his eyes. Claws dug into Cronus', and also, apparently, into Kurloz, who cried out behind sewn lips and spilled inside of Cronus' tight chute.

Indigo and violet seeped and sploshed out and onto the red blankets.

Kankri wiped his face and glared up at them. “If I don't get a bucket for the release of my own material, I will not engage in this with either of you again.”

Cronus sighed and pushed off of Kankri and pulled away from and to the side of Kurloz. He ran a messy hand through his hair without meaning too, and winced when his head smelled like his own fluids. “Kurloz, just givwe him a pail, alright, pal?”

Kurloz shrugged. Easy as that, he pulled a bucket out of his sylladex for Kankri to use.

Two pairs of white eyes narrowed on Kurloz's form, and two pairs of black lips curled in irritation.

“Really? You couldn't havwe fucking done that twvo minutes ago vwhen I made a huge mess and you followved?” Not that he was truly complaining. Well. He was. Because Kurloz was a putz. But also he was definitely enjoying the sensation of being filled. He still felt sore from how much he'd taken in, but he felt satisfaction from how much was dripping out.

Kurloz pulled his suit back on and neglected to even look at them.

Kankri didn't care. He finished with a scream, then plopped back onto the messy pile and worked his hand through his hair.

Cronus slowly positioned himself next to Kankri. “Vwas it ok? I mean, not thinking entirely ahead aside, vwas the actual--”

Kankri turned, pulled him into a kiss, then pushed him away. After a moment, he sat up and sighed loudly.“I need a shower.” Kankri forced himself into a standing position. “If you two would like one, you are welcome to join me. Otherwise, you can wait your turn. I have no intention on being filthy.”

Cronus sighed, nodded, and began to gather up the blankets they'd ruined. Most of them. 

Motion caught his eyes, and Cronus peeked up at Kurloz. The silent troll stretched, then pulled his suit back on, and cast a grin his way. The white board was out, an eternally helpful tool between them. --Well, that didn't suck.--

He snorted and tossed the blankets into the corner of the room. The rest, he felt could be salvaged. “No, didn't suck at all.”

Kankri would be disappointed all of his fluffy comfortable blankets were just about gone. He'd have to get new ones for Kankri. Maybe in violet... Red, violet, and possibly indigo if he thought Kurloz would behave.

No, just red and violet. Kurloz would never behave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't lie! No meta fanfic in this one. Just good old Kankri and Cronus and Kurloz. Having a giant messy threesome. Mmmm.

**Author's Note:**

> written for madcarnival on tumblr. Check him out, they're great!


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